To Who I Call Home

By N.R. Miller

I have moved into a tranquil state of adjournment.
Although
I think that’s a lie
Because every day that goes by
I feel like I’m losing my mind.

Like I can’t keep up with this
And no matter how hard I try
This is just not what I wanted it to be like.

I can smile and laugh
Talk for hours and respond when you ask
Decorously implore you to tell me about your day
And pretend that with every word I’m not fading away.

I am sunk into a tremendous stupor.
I’m caught in an obscure reasoning
Of what you feel is good for you or me.

Maybe I’m not the prospect of anyone’s dreams
But I’ve grown more fond of you than I ever thought I could achieve.

So maybe one day you could bestow upon me
Just a sliver of what that could mean
I’m not saying right now, a day, or week

I just want to know
That I’m not the only one that in us, believes.